Caitykinzblog :]

REUNITE.

2009-10-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in the longest time,
I feel like I left this and I'd rather not.

this blog has kept me somewhat sane,
why get rid of a good thing?

Reading Journal(:

2009-05-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

FINALLY finished Rhinoceros.
I know your probally thinking, come on' Caitlin, it took you THAT long?
And truth be told, it was because I was reading two other books, while I was reading this one,
I guess I just got distracted(;

Mmhm.
Currently listening to: Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't by Brand New

Time for the reading Journal:

"Berenger: I'm frightened of becoming someone else"

This quote stuck to me the most because I think, most of us are scared of becoming someone else. Of not being who we are. I think we are all scared of losing control, and not having things be "normal". And not understanding ourselves... I know out of all things, losing control is one of my biggest fears.

Berenger, is saying this because now in the play is the time when everyone has turn into a rhinoceros expect for him, Dudard and Daisy. And he's afraid of becoming a rhinoceros also. But in the end, Daisy (His love) and Dudard (who loves daisy, and works with Berenger) both turn into rhinoceros, while Berenger is the only one that doesn't. I like how the play ended, but the couple of pages before that sickened me. The whole love scenes between Daisy and Berenger. I mean jeez does every play have to have love in it? Love has nothing to do with rhinoceros, why did it have to be in the play, and it was so random. I really think the play would have been better without the love scene. Without all the love in general. Infact he should have just cut the whole Daisy character out of the story!

2009-05-05T20:14:00.000-07:00

currently listening to impolite by plushgun.

My play is Rhinoceros.

"Berenger: I sometimes wonder if I exist myself.
Jean: You don't exist my dear Berenger, because you don't think. Start thinking and you will."

it's random and off.
one minute this man is criticizing his friend,
the next moment a rhinoceros is running through town.
and than the next moment they are talking about cats.

there are a lot of good lines in the play though.
Even if you look in my book now you will see asterisks and quotes that I put over things that are quite inspiring.

It's funny though,

"Logician: Here is an example of a syllogism. The cat has for paws. Isidore and Fricot both have four paws. Therefore Isidore and Fricot are cats.
Old Gentlemen: My dog has got four paws.
Logician: Then it's a cat."

2009-05-01T19:08:00.000-07:00

"I felt like saying, 'Good I'm glad it hurt. I hope it kills you'."

-Such a pretty girl.

I finished reading the Great Gatsby, i loved it.
I started reading Lord Of The Flies, it didn't interest me enough.
(And I thought it was a awfully cruel book, so i'm not to fond of it.)

Anyways that's not my quote, I just like it alot.
My actual quote is:

"And I wonder, not for the first time, how Ms.Mues can dwell in darkness fifty two times a year and still see so clearly while my own mother, a creature of sunlight and shine, sees nothing at all."

I like this one better, i think it's more relate-able. Like how it is possible that even if we think we are looking at something, that doesn't mean we are seeing it clearly.

So how do we know when we are actually seeing things

Reading Journal On The Great Gatsby (:

2009-04-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

"Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known."

Im reading "The Great Gatsby" by F.Scott Fitzerald.
I like it very much so,
all the parties sound so glamorous, and in some parts of the book,
some of the moments sound so perfect.

My question is that how can you hold yourself up to say your a honest person?

I personally don't think any one is honest. Or well they can be for a brief moment, but everyone lies sometime. You can't expect someone to always only tell the truth, that's impossible, there is no such thing as honest people. We all lie, and we always will lie, because we are humans.

Break,

2009-04-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

So Im still deciding.
About if I still want this break to continue or not.
I mean...I don't know what I mean.
Obviously im the same old person, my mind not completely made up.
Hmm see, theres still nothing in my mind.
Even as I type this,
And I keep making spelling errors.

Crap.

Spring Break.

2009-04-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Fun. but not exactly my style.
It's funny usually every year i have some kind of seasonal break from school,
I stay home like a hermet and do nothing. It's just me, my computer and the tv.
My only social connection would be texting on the phone, myspace and my parents.
And than when people would ask " How did you break go?" I would say "boring".
This is the first break that im actually doing things *gasp*

2009-04-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes being true to yourself means sacrificing everything."

This stood out to me because this is exactly my problem.
or has been for the past week. I can't make up my mind fully about anything.
Which is why I feel so different and unlike myself at times now.
Change is coming...I feel it.

My question is "What if you don't know exactly what want? or if you want more than one thing?"

Reading Journal Homeskillet ;)

2009-03-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

So im still on "The Shape Of Water".

"My senses opened; I heard light whisper; I tasted the yeast of rain. Muscles over the exterior of my ribs, in my flank region, tightened as I walked. I thought of nothing else while tending my fires; nothing except the flame andd the crackling pops and snaps of my fire. Fire, like silence had a language I could not speak, but I could translate. I listened to the pops and snaps growing louer as they grew closer together, and the voice of the fire warned me when to leave. "

the book's getting good.
but the main character is somewhat scary. I mean she likes to start fires in her spare time,
and she usually stares out of her window daily. she has sense that tell her things.
and somehow relates so many things to water and swimming.

it's kinda freaky.

my question is: "how can a object such as a fire have a voice, and how can it warn you to leave? I mean your the one who started the fire in the first place, why would it let you want to get away with it? and wouldnt someone notice if your starting fires over and over again?"

Reading Journal.

2009-03-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

"The rest of me, most of me was hidden like the secret of undertow. And I could no longer remain inside the undertow; I was alone there with silence and memory and gazing. Each of these activities had begun speaking to me in the slow, weighted vocabulary of loss. I would have to think of a way to leave."

Im still reading "The shape of water"
I like it, but not as much as I LOVED the Tao Of Pooh,
maybe later that will change?
I don't know.

Anyways My comment on this is, I can totally understand it. What it feels like when a part of you is hidden, but you want to get out. This instantly appealed to me. Because I just understand. I don't know how to explain it.

My question is "how do you know who we are, if we hide things from ourselves?"

Reading Journal With New Book!

2009-03-07T19:47:00.000-08:00

Firstly I do want to say that I did finish the Tao Of Pooh, and I simply love it,
it is now one of my most favorite books. Anyways Now I am reading " The Shape Of Water"
I just got it from the Library today! When I was getting the travel book for Japan :)

"When you sit in silence long enough, you learn that silence has a motion.
It glides over you without shape or form, but with weight, exactly like water.
Its color is silver. And silence has a sound you hear only after hours of wading inside of it. The sound is soft, like flute notes rising up, like the words of glass speaking. Then there comes a point when you must shatter the silence, when you must shatter the blindness of it's words, the blindness of it's light."

That has to be the longest paragraph of a quote that I have chosen. I like it simply because it sounds deep. I think it's somewhat random though, or as Miss Kay would say it has a tangent.
Haha, I don't know why I seemed to pick that out, but I did. :)

My question is, "How does silence have a sound?"
I just don't get it.

Reading Journal.

2009-03-01T12:15:00.000-08:00

Those who think that rewarding things in life are somewhere beyond the rainbow-
"Burn their toast a lot," said Pooh.
"I beg your pardon?"
"They burn their toast a lot" said Pooh.

I chose this qoute because, only pooh could relate something as people who keep taking things for granted and that are never happy with their lives would relate such a thing like that to toast. I am loving how sometimes this book is so lighthearted.

my question is: "whats wrong with always wanting more?"
I mean i understand that at some part, if you keep wanting more, your not going to realize how amazing your life is just the way it is. But why just settle for whatever comes your way if you deserve even better and you deserve to have so much more than you have now?

Reading Journal :]]]

2009-02-20T17:09:00.000-08:00

"How can you get very far,
If you don't know Who you are?
How can you do what you ought,
If you don't know What You've Got?
And if you don't know Which To Do
Of all the things in front of you,
Then what you'll have when you are through
Is just a mess without a clue
Of all the best that can come true
If you know What and Which and Who."

Confusing isn't it? Yes I know. I had to read it several times before I could fully understand it. But Hey, I got it in the end! :)
I think to me it means that, if you don't know what you already have, than how are you ever going to know what you want? I guess, my view on it needs a little work. But it's hard to explain. It's funny because it reminds me how there was this quote that said went something like "we search for the things that are right in front of us." And I don't know if we do or if we don't. But I do see that sometimes, we want so much, that we don't stop and look and see if we already have it right in front of us.

My only question would be, "How do we know who we are?"
Because I'm sure, alot of people have gone pretty far in life, without needing a definition of themselves.

Reading Journal! <3

2009-02-13T16:50:00.000-08:00

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes" said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has a Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has a Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."

Currently I'm reading, "The Tao Of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff,
Holly (Hollister, Hollypocket, Golly Holly, lady who eats paper and doesn't like hugs,etc)
gave it to me :]
At first I accused her of the book not being hers, but in the end it was. (Oops.)
As soon as I read this quote I LOVED it, and i had to read it out loud to Gary and Dani, it makes me smile and it reassures me that just because you may have a brain, it doesn't mean your all high in mighty and that you know everything that has to be learned in the world :)
Sometimes you have to not use your brain to find out important things
(If that makes sense)
Like you don't have to think with your brain all the time.
Something pooh, must have realized. Because I don't think he ever used his brain...or even had one for that matter :)

Eh anyways; I want to put two more Tao Of Pooh Quotes, because I love these so dearly :)

"Pooh looked at his two paws. He knew that one of them was the right, and he knew that when you had decided which one of them was the right, then the other one was the left, but he never could remember how to begin."

I love this one because, sometimes,
we want to embark on a journey but we can never decide where to begin,

"We wont try too hard or explain too much because that would only confuse things."

2009-02-06T18:45:00.000-08:00

"After a blackout, all you have to do is keep on not knowing. If you can't remember, you hope you never remember. You indulge your selective amnesia. You operate under the philosophy I dont think, therefore I am."

Personally, Smashed is becoming one of my most favorite books. :)
It's also teaching much about how from her own experience that things happen, most often things happen for a reason. And even if in that moment, it's not what you wished to have happened. Later on, it will on make sense. Anyways, this quote confused me. I mean..don't you want to remember most things? And not just forget them. I mean those are memories, whether you wanted them to happen or not. They did, you can't do anything to change that. And not remembering a memory (blacking out) would scare me. I would want to remember, not just wish to forget. And that philosophy makes no sense whatsoever to me...If you don't think, than how do you know what you are? I mean you need to think to know what you are. So therefore...what do they mean "I am"? You are what exactly?

My question would be: "If you forget certain memories of your life, than does that mean you forget what made you who you are today?"

"They make me convinced that life as we know it is some kind of purgatory; in which everyone suffers and is punished, and every one of us is licking her wounds."

2009-02-01T11:15:00.000-08:00

"I have no idea how miserable I am until I hear myself confess it out loud."

I love this quote simply because the fact is, most times we feel many emotions that we don't know that we have until we finally say it. It's like we are secretly in denial. Until we finally like admit it to ourselves, you know? Well i don't know what other way to explain it. It's just one of those quotes that as soon as i read it, it makes perfect sense to me...even if it doesn't to anybody else.

I have only one question for this and it is why can't we just realize our emotions when we feel them? Why do some of them only come when we finally admit it to ourselves. Or why do they need to be a surprise?

bahahahahaha ♥ :)

:)In Class Reading Journal

2009-01-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

"I've never been one to mind not having a mind of my own."

This quote makes me want to laugh, and reminds me of something that would be in Disney movies. I mean it's so simple, yet tells you so many things. Don't you love it when there are situations like that, like when you don't have to say a lot. Because there is so many things unsaid that just comes from saying very few words.

My question is, if you don't mind not having your own mind, than what will you do once, your on your own? I mean like when you depend on so many people making decisions for you. When are you ever going to be yourself? Or how do you know when you are being your own person...I don't know how to explain it. I guess i can use the above the influence commercials as an example. Like when this one guy is standing, and all these other people are changing him into what they think he should be. I mean it in that way. If your going to let people make you who you are...than how do you know when you are ever going to be truly yourself?

:)Reading Journal ;]

2009-01-25T12:09:00.000-08:00

"For some of us, feel and humiliation feel honest. They ensure devotion more than reverence, more than love. The damned loves the hand of the executioner. And compassion holds more weight when it follows ruthlessness. Frankly speaking, "You've got to be cruel to be kind."

:)i absoutely loved that qoute the first time i read it because it really makes you think. I mean you got to be cruel to be kind? I never thought that...i mean i thought you had to kind to be kind. aha. mhmmm im not even sure if that makes much sense, but my goodness...doesn't that quote sound amazing? :)

Next qoute:
"For the first time, with a stranger in a strange car, I feel. From nowhere desire surfaces, and it swirls through my insides. The want is thrumming and it is everywhere, like a hive knocked from a tree that unfixes a squall of bees. The fluttering in my chest is as unfounded and unnerving as the riot itself. And the dread follows it because I know in an instant that I would, and will, do anything in pursuit of this yearing. It will not be enough to want once. I will want to want a million times over, to feel this warmth were there use to coldness, this prickling sensation where everything was once numb."

Okay so i just read that qoute this morning, at like 7 am...bahahaha even when there is no school. I STILL tend to wake up early. So anyways, i am in the part of the book where she is falling in love with a boy chris that she saw at a bar and than see's again at this block thing. They were curently in the trunk thingy or a truck kissing and drunk. And than that qoute came up. I think it's very beauitful but to be quite honest it scares me that she feels that way. Because she is most often times drunk, and when you love someone and your drunk and they are drunk...i dont know. It's just i fear that something bad is going to come from this. Afterall I know this is not some fairytale happy story...

Media TIME ;)

2009-01-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

Whoop!Whoop!
Okay so Media means too me, that you basically advertise things :]
When I think of the word media, I instantly think about computers, the world wide web and fashion magazines ;) ESPECIALLY fashion magazines&& teen magazines because majority of women read them. And they are always adverting things to us, and telling us how to be, and who to be. I deffinatly think that the media runs our lives. I mean it consues us. Media is EVERYWHERE (scary right?) A part of me doesn't think that we would be able to live without it :O

:]Reading Jourrrnalll;

2009-01-11T17:50:00.000-08:00

MMMkay so i am still reading "Smashed" and i love ittttt<3
there are like alot of pages i folded in the book, because i love what it's been saying. likeeee this one:
"It's strange the way the mind remembers forgetting. The fact of the blackout won't slip away like the events that took place inside of it. Instead of receding into my life's story, the lost hours will stand out. Something else will move in to fill in the holes:dread and denial that thickens with time like emotional scar tissue. In the absence of memory, the night will be even more memorable. The blackout will stay with me, causing chronic psychic pain, a persistent, subconscious thrumming."

:)amazing right? Right now, im at the part that she came back in the morning after sneaking out to a party with her best friend natalie. And her parents what to speak to her. This is not the first time she has drank though, she has even gotten drunk before. Might i add to you that she is fifteen? Yup just one year older than i am, and she has already drank so many times. This book is exicting and wonderful. And not boring at all...which sumwhat surprised me because i really thought it would me. And i actually bought the book in a thrift store :O Yep for 50 cents. ahahahaha. I wonder what will happen next with her, i mean a 15 year old getting drunk is NOT a good idea...i mean what if bad people decide to do bad things to her? Righhht?

Whoop!Whoop! Break's Ending :)// Somewhat Reading Journal Post.

2009-01-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

Okay so break is offically over;
hmmm school will be starting again today;
no offense but thats a total BLEH!
I love school but man..i would give so much to be back in bed right now;
Oh well, :)
So the book iv'e read over break is called "Smashed"
Yeah I changed it; the other book did exactly..capture my attention.
This book is WAY better :) It's about a girl's drunken childhood;
HAHAHAHA; you didn't see that coming did ya?
But i love it anyways, some of the writing in it is beautiful.
You know how sometimes you can like read a paragraph and after it's like "YES! EXACTLY!"
Hmm thats how ive felt like 200x times within like the first twenty pages.
Which is very impressive to me :)

AHHH school time;
I need to pick up my carpool. Bye! :D

What Happened To Lani Garver;

2008-12-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

Darn; i totally forgot about this;

oh well;
anyways the book i'm reading is "What Happened To Lani Garver"

:) i didn't finish the bell jar; but im reading a new book anyways!

:D

Everything is going to be just fine...

2008-12-11T16:39:00.000-08:00

we live in fear and danger of them,
there delicate cheeks will turn to rotting flesh,
one day women will all become monsters.

Hmm beautiful wasn't it? ^^^ By chiodos ;)
Im always fixing up my case while typing this.
UGH big debate tommorrow.
Im like dreading it but loving it at the same time.
Im only dreading it for the soul purpose that nerves will eat me alive tommorrow.
I don't have the confidence to go through it, nor do i know how to act like i posess it.
I'm hoping i get so mad that i just wing it, and put all my energy into it.
My goal is to win atleast 3 cases. :)
Maybe thats a tad bit high; I mean im starting off wanting to win atleast one.
But after that i wouldn't mind winning 3 at all ;)

Wish me luck?

Hmmm well too day was been a busy week hasn't it?
I only hope that my throat doesn't get any worse.
Because ever since wednesday it gets really dry and it starts burning.
(Isn't that atractive? ;) hahaha)
So i've been loading myself up on throat drop things.
I ate like 10 today!
And thats not a egacertation.

I seriously kept on putting them in my mouth.
And my throat felt great now :)

Tommorrow that better not change >:]

lalalalalala;

I'll keep dreaming; Not another word sweetheart
Nothing is perfect, but it has to be someday.
So I'll keep dreaming; We have to be someday.
This is our annual.
f you believed what you felt, you would be in love

Again; hmmm man i just love chiodos;
I have 24 songs by them;
and i need more. :)

It's not enough!!!

Hmmm; I think im going to go on aim.
And check if mariah is on.
So I can talk to her about our case;

AIM: WOAHcaitlinxD

lets talk?!

Reading Journal :)

2008-12-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

WOAH :) it's been a long time hasn't it?
Okay so i just finished reading A Wrinkle In Time.
It's a good book isn't it? I havent read it since like the 5th grade.
I remember they showed the movie on abc family and i hated it.
Well..i didnt see all of it..but i hated the part that i saw :)
hahaha anyways now Im reading this book called "The Bell Jar".
It's by Sylvia Plath who apperently is dead. x_x
Yeah its an old book,
So far Esther Greenwood (the main character), who is a girl.
Is living in new york, for awhile because she won this big contest to go.
So yeah she's really smart. And she won this fablous oppurtinity to go there and work for a magizine. You might be thinking this will be like some mtv show kind of book. You know, girl goes to the city. But its not like that. So anyways so far she just dumped her friend doreen because she realized that she's not the kind of friend you want hanging with you. (I know your probally thinking, that i just ruined my point with the whole this isn't a drama tv show, new york city book. But believe me, its not!) So far thats all the bigness that happened im not that far into it. Hopefully next post i'll have something more interesting that proves it's more of a hardcore book than you think! :)

2008-12-02T10:39:00.000-08:00

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Which means to say something, that has lack of evidence.
For example: We said dragon's exist.
You could say that they don't, but do you have any evidence to prove that?

No comment.

2008-11-17T18:55:00.000-08:00

Hm, just writing for the sake of writing. I need to clear my head.
These thoughts are not being pleasant.Believe me. Hmmm,
I know, i say hmm too often. I really need to find myself a hobby.
Writing is not calming me down at all, I wish i was in art class.
I would do anything to feel that cold paint on my fingers, see all those colors come to live.
Main reason i wanted art. To help ease me.
I am quite frustrated now...if you haven't noticed. :
It's like, i don't know. It's just my "perspective" has now completely changed.
On everything.
Its like complete realization.
Ever had moments like that? When suddenly everything just...clicks?
That is exactly what is happened to me today after school.
I am still in shock this very moment.
Its like I've got a whole new view.
As cheesy as that sounds. :)
I feel brand new.

2008-11-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

Wind turbines, Oh those lovely bird death traps :)
Don't you just love how they slice bats in half? I just love seeing their intestines.
Scattered all over ground, such a lovely sight to see with the family don't you think?
I love all the things wind turbines do for our planet, all the things they rid.
I am simply delighted to tell you, we have found a place
to have HCC wind turbine technology program.
:)whoop whoop.
i am so sure all the dead birds will thank us.

:)Reading Journal.

2008-11-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

Currently I am reading Breaking Dawn.
:)can i get a whoop whoop?
So far my hatered of bella has NOT died down,
i still believe she is a selfish pig that gets whatever she wants.
Sometimes reading breaking dawn it is getting harder to hate her for the reason of shes nice.
But how shes trying so hard to be strong really annoys me. I am seriously stop being so fake,
scream if you have to. Your pregant and your baby breaks your ribs. Dont freaking say that everythings okay. :) Oh yeah when i read she was pregant it was like"WOAZAH". Didnt know that was ever going to happen, Alot of people are telling me bella's going to die. I am so happy about that, than again they might just be lying. Or maybe she'll die of her humanness and become a vampire. I wish i could be a vampire....I could like wear a cape and be like "WOAH, BE MEAN TO ME AND I'LL BITE YOU". That would be pure awesomeness :) Hmm anyways im at the part where she bended down and now the baby can't breathe. It's funny how the baby can hear her voice and how it already loves her. Thats one smarrrt baby ;) Hmmm its kinduh werid how bella seems like blood now though. I remember how in twilight she passed out when they were doing the whole blood thing in class. And now shes all "Blood, yum yum for my tum". Its werid, i wonder if the baby would like milk...Anyways i wonder what's going to happen next? And if jacob will ever imprint? Or if sam and the other vampires will really start like a war/fight thing and try to kill bella's baby...OH OH OH, i am so happy jacob is finally an alpha. I mean it was fate for him to be one, good to know he's finally expecting it. Haha i love seth, and his spirit.
So far he's my favorite werewolf. Leah is...well leah is leah. I feel sorry for her but at the same time...well no. I just feel sorry for her. I guess i wish she would give the cullens more of a chance though. I mean they are honestly good people...erm vampires i mean. :)

i hate bella swan with a burning passion.

2008-11-11T14:06:00.000-08:00

ugh finished reading eclipse.

i really hate bella.
its not fair.
she shouldnt be able to love both boys.
and why isnt edward mad?
she kissed jacob, she loves him!

if i was him i would be pretty much breaking bellas jaw in half and leave.

ugh ugh ugh.
lifes not fair for everyone else in the world.
but yet bella gets to get away with everything....

i hope she eats a whole buncha people when she becomes a vampire.
and that jacob gets immprinted and forgets all about her....

:)reading journal?

2008-11-09T16:47:00.000-08:00

STILL READING ECLIPSE.
But im almost done, and yesterday i brought breaking dawn. So it wont be long untill i start posting about that. Anyways currently at the part where the battle is about to began...kinduh. Right now they are camping in the tents. Edward and Bella were talking about the best 10 nights of their life. And Jacob just overheard them talking about how Edward proposed to Bella. Honestly i think they are totally rushing this whole marriage thing. I mean they just graduated from highschool. They are about to be in this whole war with newborn vampires and they are planning to have the wedding in Vegas (and bella's talking about how she will be wearing sweats). I mean honestly, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to see how terribly planned that is. I don't understand why edward would do such thing and make bella marry him first. GOODNESS, if i was a vampire i would just change her myself to stopp all this unessicary maddness. And i feel so bad for jacob. Because he loves her and he's so convinced that she will love him too, Currently i must confess that i am team jacob. But i wish that boy would take his head outta of the clouds and realize that bella loves edward and only wants to be with edward. I would be devesated if he did anything to ruin bella and edwards love. Not that i think he really could ruin it, since it's so pure and so powerful. Im just exicted to see what will happen next? will someone die? will they caputre bella? Because not to be mean, but i think bella will do something heartless and idiotic. Just to be in that field. Even though edward did promise to be with her. Im starting to get very mad at bella these days...shes starting to be a tad bit to selfish....

:)today.

2008-11-07T19:29:00.000-08:00

Was prettah chill man,
:)it was danisaur's birthday.
so whoop,whoop.
she brought these AMAZING cupcakes.
they were so delicious, and yummy.
i was so in love with them i would have married them.
I had like..three cupcakes. :)
hahaha, I'm a cupcake hog.
and than Arielle had cupcakes too.
so i had one of her's.
and than Sebastian bought Dani this cake.
that had snickers and Carmel.
so we all ate it...not all of it though.
so we gave it away...last i saw Gary ate most of it. D:
hahaha no big surprise there :)

so today was full of sweets <3
i guess you can say.
and than we also had a debate in humanities today.
the first time we did it,
it was HILARIOUS.
pure madness for sure.
but the second time it was better,
people weren't as passionate as they were the first time though.

OH AND DANI DREW ME THIS MAGICAL PICTURE.
it has a cupcake and a pig and a french mustache.
and all these other various things.

four day weekend.
ugh finally. :)

Blah.Blah.Blah.

2008-11-05T18:30:00.000-08:00

"I lie to myself because I do it best".
--byyy Hit the Lights

Sooo...Just typing whatever comes to mind. :)
This is just some random blog, well...actually i would perfer the word scattered instead.
Dani's Birthday (Birrrfffday Day) im not sure what to get her. I have no money though.
This economy crisis is sucha bore.
IM WATCHING LOVEBUG. :)
Mannn, I love that song.
"Hopeless, Head Over Heel's In The Moment, I Never Thought That I'd Catch This Lovebug Again."
I wish they played it on the radio more.
Psh, i wish the jonas brothers went to my school.

A girl can dream right? :)

I had yummy fuze today, it was this black green tea one.
But Ivan got me thinking on why it was called black green tea? How could it be both? :X
Geez, this world is just so confusing.

So im listening to this song right? No longer lovebug.
It starts of with:

"If only you were a ship, i'd sail the seven seas. Claiming all the land in the name of you&&me"

adorable right? it just made me go all nandsglfoaaqqiwoalbxz!
:)ilovecutesongs<3

Reading Journalllll :D

2008-11-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

So im still reading eclispse, :)
usually i would be done with a book like this already but im not.
Even sonja is catching up with me and she was reading twilight when i started reading eclipse...yeah it's sad i know. ANYWHO, currently im at the part when they are deciding how to get rid of the newborn vampire that is killing everyone. :) isn't that lovely? And Jasper told his whole story of his newbornhood, and how he was part of a newborn army in the south. And about Maria and everything. It kind of surprised me about his whole story, i thought it would be like all the others, like carsile saved him when he was dying and than all that jazz. And helped his with all this stuff about being a vampire but it was much more violent and unexpected. At first he started the whole story with showing the scar on his hand, which bella has too. (She got it from james in twilight, when he bit her). And so i thought maybe it was a mark and maybe something special would happen. But no...it didnt have anything to do with some undiscovered secret or whatever. So personally for me that was a let down, i was sad for like one mintue...than i got over it :).Hmmm so anyways im really curious to find out how they are going to get rid of the vampire and who their backup will be. Bella says that someone will die. No onfense but i hope Rosalie dies...if i HAD to choose it would be her. I think ill shes useful for is her beauty. Other than that all she does is go around and be a complete SNOB. But that's just my opinion. :) So before you stop me at school and start a riot against me remember that. :D

:)hmmm nothing special

2008-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

"Your Sucha Wreck and Now It Starts To Show."

It's funny isn't it?
that people start a line like that,
when it isnt even funny at all.
A line as in a sentence, not a pack.
A pack of regrets, i mean.
Regrets as in..oh im done with the riddles,
or what ever you can begin to call these.
I keep thinking of this line,over and over again in my head.
and when i say line... i mean to say lyric.
It goes..."There are just certian people you keep coming back too"
Hmm, it makes me think, it makes me realize various things.

pst.NEVERSHOUTNEVER is the bomb diggity (yes, i used sebastions word) :D

:)In Class.

2008-10-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yes! You heard me right, Im in class.
But im suppose to be on the computer, so it's no big secret :)

My Found Poem

Death is of no return,
I sense myself filling with rage,
Seal yourself away from the offender forever,
Will I be able to allow death,
With painful awe at the vacuum left by the dead,
Obliged to know everything,
Death will take itself,
In my heart.
Imprison and inhibit more than barred windows and iron chains.
Admit what we expected to happen did not happen.

:]readding journal

2008-10-26T19:39:00.000-07:00

So im reading Eclipse (im gunna stick with the book).
Currently Bella is trying so hard for Edward and Jacob to be civil,
so she can still be bestfriends with jacob while being with edward (the love of her life). Ugh, I love edward and everything and i do agree he's perfect, but im am still TEAM JACOB! And i know that personally this will not work out. I mean a werewolf and a vampire being friends? Its hard enough for them to be with a human...but if they are complete and total enimies than what is bella expecting? For them to put aside their differences and have a tea party? CMON ON! I am sorry, i am usually the one that tries to be a optomistic person but who is she kidding?! I mean im not even done with the book but it doesnt take a rocket sciencetist to know that this cant work out. I mean they can't even deal with the way eachother smell! How could they ever find a way to get past themselves and be friends for bella's sake?
this is all just going to crash and burnn...

Goodbye...

2008-10-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, my continues regrets. Goodbye sweet memories that still bring utter excitement and joy. Goodbye pouring rains and the sounds of relief you bring to me. Goodbye life, for no long will I have to bare you and your complexity. Goodbye all words of sorrow and people that have kept me sane on my most horrid days. And goodbye those people that I dread, you have done nothing more than add onto my insanity. Goodbye strangers, for even though I do not pay much attention to your face and even though you may have shoved me aside or never greeted me with a kindly hello, I'm sure that some that some of you are kind souls. Goodbye sweet birds and your chirping, it never fails to place a smile on my face. Goodbye music, for you helped me breathe on the darkest of days. Your lyrics kept my heart beating, and gave me the strength to live another day. But now as death awaits no longer will I need to take another breath or for my heart to beat. Goodbye sun, for you lighted everyday, whether I wanted you to or not. Goodbye coldness, for you never fail to find me. Always placing goosebumps on my skin and shivering. Do you enjoy keeping my body heat to a minimum amount of heat? Goodbye clouds, for it always seemed that I was never alone. You kept me entertained, in the way you were most times oddly shaped. On days when I thought I had no imagination you always brought it back to me. Goodbye my kiddie television shows, you filled my life with thoughts of happy clowns with adorable dolls and lions in library's. You taught me that elephants can talk and that red dogs can be abnormally large sized. You showed me that grouchy monsters live in trashcan, and big purple dinosaurs exist with children that often break into song and dance with everyday lessons. Goodbye flesh, without you I am certain I would not look appealing, thanks for making me more attractive, or maybe you will join me in the afterlife? Goodbye trees, you've always provided me with so much shade. I am also very sorry that we are tearing you down or pulling you from the ground. I am sorry that you are being destructed so rudely and that we don't even do the most civil-est thing of asking for your permission. And I'm sorry ...i am printing this on paper. I'm not sure if this would be ledge-able on a leaf... Goodbye the used, you are my savior. Your lyrics have sinked into my skin, I would nowhere near happy if you weren't introduced into my life. Goodbye mother and father...if you are not already dead. I know that often I have been selfish, stubborn, inconsiderate, non consistent, complicated and often times been ridiculously mad for no reason whatsoever. Goodbye canvases of the world, I'm sorry that I will not be able to paint onto all of you, but even though colors and emotion have not been expressed upon you yet, you are still acknowledged. Goodbye camera's, with just a click you capture some of life's most greatest moments, something that truly remains to amaze me.. Goodbye Imagination, for never would I truly have had a soul if it werent for you. Goodbye love, for I have never found you, and now I will never have a chance to grasp you in all your glory. Goodbye everything, for I know that I will certainly be in pain not being able to live.

FRUITBASKET <3 :] (my reading journal)

2008-10-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

Okay so im reading this new book (i know i know, i change my books to often),
its quite hard to find a book i can actually stick with.
if you know any EXTREMELY good books, gimme a shout out :]
anways...the books called "Fruits Basket".
interesting name huh? Something youve probally havent heard of before.

^^^ theres the book.
its a book that has to do with this thing called "manga" i wasnt sure what it ment and what the difference between manga and anime was. But than someone (i forgot who)
told me about how manga is like a japanese comic and that anime is like the shows that has like the characters. Manga is really cool, your suppose to read the book from right to left. Which told me a while to figure out. At first it took me like 10 mintues to read the first 4 pages because it took me forever to figure out the order it should be read and which box goes first. :] but now i get it.
Anyways...about the book.
There is this girl named Tohru Honda, :] (ISNT THAT THE COOLEST NAME?!)
and so like ALOT of things have happened to her like her mom died (but she still talks to her mom throughout the book...its kinduh werid). And she lives with her grandpa, and shes like one of those girls that work all the time and go to school and yeah. Shes way to hard on herself. But long story short, than she stays with the the Sohma family, who is like these two boys. One of them goes to her school, and hes like the uber special guy, that all the girls like and think is amazingly nice and gorgeous. yeah,yeah you know. And so the sohma family has a secret. THEY CAN TRANSFORM INTO ANIMALS OF THE CHINESE ZODIC! You know, like the dog, the rat, the boar, the rooster and so on. Yeah its cool like whenever, someone hugs them or whenever they are weak they transform. And so she finds our the secret, and usually they erase the memory of any human that knows. But they let her keep her memory, as long as she promises not to tell anyone! :D
OH! and theres like this other brother of them that shows up in the book too, and hes the cat, but in the story its like hes not part of the zodiac because he has to beat his other brother that is the rat in order too. But his brothers REALLY strong so he never wins. D:
So so far thats pretty much the important stuff i guess, this is only like the first book of the whole series.
So tommorow at school im gunna ask luke if i can borrow the rest,
youll be hearing more of what happens later!

new everything :]

2008-10-15T18:57:00.001-07:00

yupyupyup.
Can't You See The Difference?
new layout.
new song player.
and new added things.

:]
even a picture i drew myself.

:]hellowjellow

2008-10-15T15:44:00.000-07:00

hmmmmm,you see i am not sure how to start this post.
You see,everything is fustrating to me at the momment.
i am not even sure if i want to make a blog post,
but i like the feeling of typing and not being in my room,
i dont want to make conversation with anyone at the moment.
I just want everyone to leave me alone.
is that so hard to ask? for once to have a moment to yourself.
but apperently not.
its funny, its seems that as a kid we are expected to always be on the run,
which we are.
which i hate.
i mean we also want moments when we are not told constantly what to do, or what we need to do better.
we want moments of silence too,
non judgeable moments.
man, today was already quite fusterating,
i feel like now i just want to pull my hair out.
which lately when i am fusterated or stressed in dig my nails into my scalp which makes my hair come out of my messy bun. currently i already had needed to fix my hair and re-due my bun twice.

You know what annoys me?
well actually thats a trick question, many many things annoy me. nails on a chalk board. people who dont listen to other peoples ideas. things that are un-needed. when people tell me to grow up. when people tell me to use common sense. hmmm in fact now that im such a negitive state saying all these things i totally forgoten my point...hmmmm, oh yes. I hate it when people just throw around the word love when talking about the opposite sex. I am currently talking to one of my best guyfriends whom i nicknamed "camcrakers" (pretty awesome right? XDD) and with every girlfriend he has (which hes had loads) he tells me he loves them. Currently that boy is making me have gray hair, dont get me wrong. Cameron ("camcrackers") is one of my bestfriends ever, and he has helped me with everything and i would have gone insane in 8th grade without him, but that boy is more confusing that any other person i know. its always loveher.loveher.loveher. and its just reminds me about how everyone seems to do that, using love all the time like saying it means nothing important.
It just reminds me of the boy who called wolf, when will i ever believe you actually love someone if you keep saying that about every girl you seem to meet?

Hmmmmm, so anyways i went to lauren's SLC today with her mom.
it was so much fun, and she did it so easily, watching her really helped me.
Im less nervous now :]

:]photobloggg.

2008-10-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

Cynical:bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

Muse:to think or meditate in silence, as on some subject.

Epitaph:a commemorative inscription on a tomb or mortuary monument about the person buried at that site. Or a brief poem or other writing in praise of a deceased person.

You Are The Moon.

2008-10-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Prettah Rad Huh?
So currently listening to "You Are The Moon" by The Hush Sound.
:]it calms me down.
most hushsound songs do. o_O
haha, there whenever i freak out on you,
just play me Hush Sound and i will be fine
:]
just remember that.
I just got back from buying stuff for the costumes,
i already bought TONS of stuff yesterday.
but i just bought a little bit more today.
hmmmmmm, i cant find my dream journal...
thats not good

:O

Reading Journal Deariez :]

2008-10-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

IF I DIE INSIDE, WOULD ANYONE REALIZE?
:]hmm so this is another reading Journal about the book Swollen. (PSTTT im also listening to CIWWAF, <-- Cute is what we aim for. While im doing this :X)So anyways now this book is starting to tell me more personal stuff about her, like how she only lives with her father and her fathers girlfriend. Because her mother wanted a adventure so she left to some other place. (they still somewhat keep in touch). Whenever I hear of a situation like that, I always think about JUNO. :X you know?
Kinduh random but if youve seen JUNO. Than in it you would know that she doesnt live with her mom, and that weridly her mom sends her a cactus every valinties day...which is like WOAH. But anyways, yeah nothing yet has really happened with the new boy and her (samatha). I mean he gave her his phone number, but nothing MAJIOR. (No, I dont call that MAJIOR). So far she seems to be getting alot better in running. She almost catched up with the fast girls in running. So I dont think she will be a middle girl for any much longer.Im kind of scared though, I mean one thing you should know is that this book has AMAZING detail. And in one of the chapters shes at a meet, and shes running so fast. I dont know it kind of scares me the way the book descires it. Like it talks about how she feels as if her heart will rip out of her chest and its just like.. I dont know it sounds so suicidal. I dont know, it makes me start to wonder if maybe shes one of these characters that die at the end of the book?

"Theres a engine in my body, with every beat it helps mee breathe.
- CIWWAF

:]UNICORN<3

2008-10-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

....DONT CALL ME A HORSE, IM A UNICORN.
:] tehehe<3 my frand told me about that song.
and now ez all ovah my mind. :X
its like WOAH! You should listen to it.
It's Called "Unicorn" by 1-800-ZOMBIE
:D its a very catchy song, if it doesnt make you happy....
>_< than gawssshhh. :P

hmmmmm, today was FUN.FUN.FUN.
I poped some of Ellen bubblez.
and this GIANT butterfly come out of nowhere and scared us!
we were screaming....and than
somehow we ended up on the ground laughing hysterically.
:X i dont know how we got there but it was HILARIOUS.

:]
and best part, i found out somestuff that made me HAPPPPYYY AS HECK!
hmmm maybe things will change in favor for what i want for once?

well JEEZ, i hope so :P
and ill just be here waiting, hoping that more than anything.
Tommorrow will be EVEN greater.
i know what your thinking. and no im not selfish and i am gratefull today.
dont get me wrong <3

haha look at this >_< :

pillowlover15: r9oew
pillowlover15: ekr
pillowlover15: lwk
WOAHcaitlinxD: ...pardon?
WOAHcaitlinxD: i dont speak ape
WOAHcaitlinxD: :]

:]so in advisory

2008-10-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

Yup, in advisory :]
listening to matt talk about hatting his grandmas guts.
tisk, tisk.
:D
i tried to act gansta but than he didnt get it >_<
YOU PEOPLE NEVER UNDERSTAND ME :P
hmmmmmmmm, so i just emailed, sonja (*hint**hint*)
i wonder what shes doing right now,
probally laughing and than putting her hand in her hair.
(like she ALWAYS does)
:]hmmm
some werid chick (probally a sophmore)
came in and started dancing.
they are so werid :]

MATT CAN COUNT TO THREE IN FRENCH.
bet you cant!
Now i ran away from him

:]]]
yay! jk.
im gunnna goo,
lunch time

:]
weeeeee!

Reading Journal.

2008-10-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

Pshhhh i almost forgot about this! :X
Anyways Im Reading a book called "Swollen". One of my friends told me about it because she said it somewhat reminded her of the book lovely bones...Which is a book i adore. So far i dont see the comparision. XD But Swollen is pretty good. It takes place around cross country, because thats like the big sport at that highschool. (You know like how some schools revolve around baseball or football? Like how HTHCV revolves around doodgeball. Yeah thats what I mean) The main character is this girl named Samantha. So far I can relate myself to her alot. Because she called herself like a middle girl. Which I think of myself that way too. Im not the best. But im not the worse either. Same with everything I do. Im most times In the middle. Same with some of my opinions, i cant pick i side. Im in the middle. So guess i already discovered that about myself thanks to that book! YAY! :]
I havent read lots of the book, but so far what happened is that this uber popular guy (Owen Killgore) hahahaha nice last name huh? XD Anyways, so hes like the big cheese at that school. Hmm like zac efforn is in highschool musical. So yeah he dies.
Of a swollen heart (see thats where the title comes from) But on the day that he dies, this new boy comes to school. SO far im thinking something will happen with samantha and this new boy.... ;D dont you?

"This is the story. It's about love. No matter how hard I try, it's never quite right.But I keep trying. I keep running away."
^^^on the cover of the back of the book.

Im a statue baby, Knock Me Out.

2008-10-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

Even the closets most pedictable people scare you sometimes.
Currently listening to: Paralyzed by The Used.

Well Well Well, dearie wasn't today emotional? ;]
I loved it, well not quite. As to everyday I have there will
always been some moments that Made my day slightly unenjoyable for a moment.
But today for the most part was AMAZING.
It was a total reality post secret moment. <3
Everyone telling all these deep things about them.
NOW THATS WHAT I CALL BRAVE. (did you think i was gunna say music volume 27? or something?)
Anyways I learned alot of things about people that were big.
Sometimes about people i didnt even know, but somehow I still felt really close to them. It was sucha a inspiring moment, that I think brought us closer together as a school. It just made me love HTHCV even more <3333

:]i also learned something, to live in the moment. And to never take anything for granted and that things happen for a reason.And that to spend time with people you really care about, and to never left them forget that you actually care. "That they Make A Difference".

You know what? If someones not going to give me the time of day,
If they arent going to care, even though you care about them.
Than they aren't worth it
:] you deserve better.

i know your probally thinking,how did i get to that?
but believe me, it would make sense if you could get into my head.

:]HarryPotter <3 And The Deathly Hallows.

2008-10-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

In currently reading the deathly hallows.
AGAIN! <3333 psh aka my favorite book in the entire world.
It's the book where dobby dies right? THAT MADE ME CRY!
Seriously, it was so werid. Dumbludore dies...but do i cry? No.
Fred and George Die. But do I care? NOPE. Dobby dies and I CRY SO HARD.
I love dobby <3 he's my favorite. Remeber that
hahaha, so im being espacially happy because im trying to take all the sadness from today out. :P

:]schools tomorrow. yay?

Don't speak Liar.

2008-10-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

"Get a grip darling dear"

TODAY SUCKED.
well not all of it,
just certain parts.
like for example my darn bridge, it was suppose to hold 20 cups.
but what did it hold...4 CUPS.

:[ man it just crashed and burned.
my grade is SOOOO going down now.
and i can't have that, i need A's.
Seriously, thats just who I am.

I live to get A. Anything lower of a grade on a final report card,
means one thing to me. :failure

harsh? well thats your opinion.

i know, i know, im being a bit frisky tonight.
lots going on.

Lemme ask you uh question,

Have you ever felt like you did a big mistake and more than anything you want to just get over it. Because you know life goes on, and theres no point in whinning about it. But the truth is you can't.And The more you keep reminding yourself about it the more you regret it. And you keep telling yourself that things happen for a reason and that this was ment to happen. But more than anything you just want to scream and change your mistake into what you wish would have happened?

:]shiver me timbers o_O

2008-09-25T17:55:00.000-07:00

Hi im caitlin, and im a robot unicorn :D

D000D. :]
im listening to sweet escape.
dontcha remember that song?
it makes me want to D.A.N.C.E
you know your jealous of my moves >_<
because i can bring it homeskillet.
I can pop it, lock it, drop it. and throw away the key. :X
hahahahaha,
NERD DAY
is monday, and i cannnt wait.
Not only because im in the ASB group that is like organizing nerd day,
but because its going to be pure awesomness!

:] i mean seriously,
you get to wear duck taped glasses and suspenders and if people
go all "Gawd! You Nerd!" than you can be like "ITS NERD DAY".

It's going to be hardcore :]
wait no...
NERDCORE!

cameron Jurado (6:12:53 PM): i still gotta do dishes
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:13:15 PM): than get to it.
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:13:20 PM): :]
cameron Jurado (6:13:23 PM):THERES A LOT
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:14:00 PM): do you need help? :]
cameron Jurado (6:14:22 PM): YES
cameron Jurado (6:14:24 PM): PLEASE
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:15:29 PM): dont worry! * takes of jacket and revels a superhero dishwashing costume* THE DISHWASHER IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:15:58 PM): ive got super speeding skills of washing and cleaning!
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:16:08 PM): im like ninja >_<
cameron Jurado (6:16:11 PM): that'd be so rad
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:16:19 PM): i know right!
cameron Jurado (6:16:23 PM): hahaha
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:17:35 PM): Wait wait wait. i dont want to be a dishwashing superhero anymore >_<
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:18:53 PM): im gunna be a robot unicorn
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:18:57 PM): its way better.
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:19:01 PM): i mean i can fly.
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:19:04 PM): and be a robot.
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:19:11 PM): its better than just washing things
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:19:12 PM): :P
WOAHcaitlinxD (6:19:13 PM): burn
cameron Jurado (6:19:20 PM): ummmm
cameron Jurado (6:19:30 PM): well, i'm good friends with the May Tag repair man
cameron Jurado (6:19:32 PM): and UR NOT

im turning into wallpaper right before your eyes.

2008-09-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

I can't write.
I dont know whats wrong with me, the words just won't come out right. I feel defeated, hun, I feel low. Not even pink can cheer up these blues. Ive been listening to songs like "Boats and Birds" by Gegory and the hawk and "Overboard" by ingrid michaleson. If you listen to those songs and hear those lyrics than you can see how...well what my mood is. I can't explain it, too many words.Dearie, what is wrong with me. Ever since afterschool, ive been well...down.

Oh gawd, not im onto avril lavigne phase.
I would listen to her whenever i was sad, or when i needed some spunk ;D
haha, OHH MYYY GAWD. i laughed!

no im back to blehness.

can you help me unravel my lastest mistake?
-breathe by anna nalick

the inside lingo had me at hello.

2008-09-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

too late.
Tommorrows schoool,
and unfortunatly/surprisingly im dreading it.
Every mintue coming closer tomorrow.
just reminds me of how doomed i am.

let's see on the agenda.
box work (eh my box is horrid)
graphic design presentation (people staring at you while you make a complete fool at of yourself is sooo not my kinduh fun)
bridge construction (eh, theres no way we will be done with bridge building in one day)...and im so not in the mood for aruging about measurements.
people (im in my anti-social stage right now),
write.write.write.
that will be me tomorrow ^^^

lately,
ive been checking my email a million times a day. like it's a ritual or something. Ive been worshiping green tea. and been writing like it's my drug, like it's how i pray. Only not to god but to lined paper.

im a mess.

Every step that i take is just another mistake to you.

2008-09-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

"All i want to do is be more like me, and be less like you."
hmmmmm, i dont know what to say in this post.
I just felt the need to do one.
it's odd,
theres so much in my head right now,
but it wont come out.
Nor do i exactlly want to put it on this blog anyways.
:/

listening to: Patience and devotion by Nevertheless

yup.
i guess this is a bit dry.
but its all that is going to be here.
sorry.

Breaking Through #3

2008-09-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

listening to :tainted love by soft cell.

So I finally finished breaking through. And the ending was totally different from i expected. Honestly...I thought the father was going to die :X
And it's not that im disapointed that he didn't, im mean im glad that it was a happy ending. But it was just surprising to be honest.
Anyways so alot of things happened, like Francisco is going to collage (whoop!whoop!). I was actually litterly happy and exited for him when I read it. And I would have jumped up and down..but i was on the buss. o_O
and i can't do things like that on the buss. :X
without inguring someone. And i'd rather not hurt a total stranger.
Or attract them...because thats how kids get taken away and kiddnaped.
or atleast thats what mommy's tell there little kiddies. :]

haha, anyways back to the book. I'm really glad he's going to collage, i mean i totally expected it because he works so hard in school. And he sounds like he's REALLY good at math. The only thing about that confused me about that was that I thought he said he didnt want to be a teacher? and than in the end he's going to?

yeahhh..maybe i read it wrong or something but im pretty sure he didn't want to be a teacher.

Okay so also Roberto got...dun dun dun MARRIED. :D
and the gal looks like elizabeth taylor? uhmmm im guessing that mean's shes very pretty?
My only wish is that the book told me more about her. Because it didnt say much.
Well I mean it said a little. but not enough.

So back to the dad, which is what ive been pondering alot when I think about the book. I really want to know what was wrong with him in the end, because I have to admit. He seemed really scary in the book :X I mean seriously, everytime he got really angry and was in a bad mood. And when he slaped Francisco i was like WOAH.

I mean theres something more than just depression and back pain going on there. >_<
dontcha think? :]

So i was actually kind of sad for the book to end, because i had so much more questions left in my mind.Like what will happen in collage? What will happen to the dad? Or the mom? i just had ALOT on my mind. it was almost like i want' to yell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

but once again i couldnt.
you can't yell in buss's either.
thats not polite :P

but anyways, all and all this book this incredably interesting and captivating. and more importantly, its REAL. it actually happened to someone. Which surprises me the most. Because I can't even begin to imagine that actually happening to me. Thank goodness times have changed, righhhht? :] *sigh*

HOLY GUACAMOLE!..and we got chips! :]

2008-09-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

My friends keep me entertained.

pillowlover15: me and my friend posted a hate comment on a jonas brothers video to see what all the pre teen girls say D
WOAHcaitlinxD: WHAT TO DID YOU THAT FOR?
pillowlover15: :]
WOAHcaitlinxD: WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?
pillowlover15: to see what all the girls say
WOAHcaitlinxD: :O
pillowlover15::]]
pillowlover15:because
pillowlover15:i know thell all flip
WOAHcaitlinxD:...you see cartercake this is why you dont get dates.

Hahaha, mannnnnnn they are ezzz best. :]
Anyways today was cool cool cool.
MUCH better than yesterday.
Lauren (my carpool) didnt lock me out of the car today :X
yeahyeahyeah. i know.

:]
anyways i FINALLY found someone who listens to 30H!3 and Family Force 5 today.
It was like a NNAUIDKLSAUIAPWPEOUDLAGHH! moment. :D

Right now im just listening to FromFirstToLast<3333
and waiting around my email, for a responce from someone.
and offf course im talking to cartercake (nickname)...that guy i had ^^^that convo with. he's one of myy best friends.

:D
can't you tell? haha

Let's try this again...and this time don't laugh.

2008-09-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

Hmmm I think im gettingout of my mind
Just wanted to get that across.
Work.Work.Work.
School.School.School.
Regret.Regret.Regret.
Work.Work.Work.
Laugh.Laugh.Laugh.
^^ thats been how it lately.

It's strange,
well I mean i can pretty much seem up in week in a couple of sentences.
I know right, HOW LAME.

hahaha, and i just did the lamest thing...
i told someone i wanted to be a ninja when i grow up.
it was mostly my sarcastic side that got the best of me and said it.
seee no containment!
no control! haha.

but seriously, i want to be an artist.
why didnt i say that instead of a ninja?

Life was on our tongues. (my poem)

2008-09-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

Optimism
That world has been coming up in my mind continually.
I wrote optimism on our bridge and it held 10 cups
(more than I thought it would possible).
I seriously think it had a impact on it.
I'm starting to think that optimism is the best way to waste time on something.
It's way more productive than my usual worrying
and making up terrible scenarios in my head.

---
Her eyes resting on the dreams of her and him.
Those sweet thoughts upon the tip of her tongue.
But the melody haunting her pleasures,
was everything to fear,
that horrid sound murdering those memories.
Nightmares crawling from the womb.
their breathing turning your bones into dust.
as the wind scatters them into the air.
All is lost, hid behind fate.
But I feel his presence, it still remains.

^^yup i JUST wrote that.

i think i found that i have two inspirations?
hmmm i know my writing makes no sense.
its just sentences.
my sentences.
that I am quite proud of.
I still admit that I use to write MUCH better,
but so far my creative flow is coming back to me again.
Hopefully SOON it will return for good?

:] I feel like writing quite a long post today,
mainly for the fact that I have nothing else to do tonight and that im waiting for somebody to get on the computer. And this blog, i have to say is the perfect distraction.

Yeah i try to believe you,...but I dont.

2008-09-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hmmm so im listening to Pink right now,
i know, i know yes PINK! :] and you know what?
Im enjoying myself very much.
I forgot how much additude her music had.
does that make sense?
hmmm so anyways,
these days ive been trying to contain myself.
And ive found out that i cant do that very well.
And that i react on first thought.
Which can be a pretty bad thing :X

hmmm anwyays if you havent noticed,
all my titles are song lyrics.
Well most off them are,
so that explains alot doesn't? :]

So today two people told me two completely different things today,
first a girl told me that i was a very happy person. And that when she sees me i'm always smiling. And than later a boy asked me why i wore skinny jeans..and told me I looked like a goth today.

With the first comment I answered happily.
With the second I pretty much acted very sacrasticly and
told him about how emo I am and that I sit in corners and cry.

haha, i dont know why im putting that there, I guess its just that difference between the two makes me laugh. Odd isnt?

Anyways I feel like talking to people,
REAL LIFE PEOPLE,
not sock puppets are barbie dolls or sumthing :X

Aim me? : WOAHcaitlinxD

Isn't that just lovely?

I am the wallpaper. (Reading Journal 3!)

2008-09-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

This book is about this girl named Floey (which I think is such an amazing and radatastic name to begin with) and she thinks shes the wallpaper because her sister Lillian is everything perfect and floey is the complete opposite of Lillan. So more than anything it's a story about how she wants to be noticed. As the interesting piece of funiture, that you can't stop looking at instead of the drab wallpaper that you never really notice. Or bother to take a second look at. This book is so inspipiring because I feel that it's just telling people that you always have to be yourself.It's just like this one qoute I have heard of before. "In your eyes, you are one person to the world, but in anothers eyes you are the world". It's like that, like even if you dont think so highly of yourself and you dont think your amazing.There is one person in the world, that totally disagrees with you, and thinks your blind. Because they look at you and think "THAT GIRL IS GOURGEOUS!" Or they think your amazing and cool. And just totally rad and that your perfect just the way you are. :) Which I think is something we need to be reminded of once in awhile. Because its something that most of us forget or dont even realize.

Save Me.

2008-09-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

I don't get it,
I'm not asking for much,
But everybody wants to just have something.
So I'll be picking me up,
Breaking me down,
I was lost, was i found?
I want to feel everything.
When everything feels wrong with me.
Take a look,
And brace myself,
Everybody wants to make it count.
Save me,
Because I can never float
Sinking.
Amaze me,
And I would be there holding on for life.
-Save by The Rocket Summer.

...no thats not all of it.
But its enough to describe exactly how I feel right now.

I write a poem today, im kind of proud of it. Maybe if ill post it to this blog...when I find the right time...now isnt.

You're A Regular Decorated Emergency

2008-09-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

These days it's homework.homework.homework.
hmmmm, i guess you can say its keeping my busy. :/ or not?
Its more my current music trend this week that has been distracting me,
on the count that I've listened to those songs 194804943749243 times this week :X
"Losing the feeling of feeling unique, you know what i mean?"-P!ATDIt feels like that was such a long time ago.
surprisingly.
I'm not so proud of my poetry anymore,
looking for the right words isn't my problem.
HMMMMMMMMPHH, so anyways my mind seems so far far far away.
I just want to write all the time.It reminds me of how I was in 8th grade.

believe me, i am plenty inspired.

its just that flow of how easy it was isn't there anymore.
could it be I'm losing my touch?

hmmm im thinking ill put up a new postsecret with every post. :]

anyways watch this :

it will cheer you up. i swear it.
if it doesnt, you can point at me, and start laughing at me tommorrow and call me BULLBASUAR. :D

I was lost...Was i found?

2008-09-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

spending a ridiculous amount of time reading post secret pictures. And all those secrets that people unleash.Although some i can not imagine anyone wanting everyone to know. I can relate to most.
Like this one:

If you dont know what post secret is, it's these books that has peoples (real peoples) secrets on them. Its written on postcards that are from all around the world and they are all true. Most people decorate there post card and its extremely creative. I absouletely adore these books.

I love that everything is so truthful and real. I love that it actually comes from real people, that live their lives day to day just like us. But in reality they are much braver, for they share their deep dark secrets with us...and we are complete strangers.

i have to say they are my favorite of all time.

:]Breaking through again

2008-09-08T17:41:00.000-07:00

So Breaking Through is very different than how it was before. It use to be uninteresting, and it was just another assignment.But now its actually *gasp* interesting and quite intertaining to read. I think it's because it finally had something most people can relate to, yet at the same time it was a completely different situation. I was so glad that Roberto had started dating. I mean finally some crush, some little happy note that didnt relat to any hardworking labor or school related problem. But I was extremely mad to find out that it would have yet another unhappy bad ending to it. I mean the parents are totally overracting, i mean its not like he has this contangious undiscovered deadly diease. What is the problem with the fact that he's mexican? It's not righr, not right at all...And than in the end the girl just dates someone else. It's like another broken heart. Why is this happening to them? To them? They never harmed anyone or did anything! Why should they be treated so differently?

Where im from :]

2008-09-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

I am from bed time stories,
from strawberry milk and paint pallets.
I am from juice stained carpets,
(the mark nor the memory ever fading)
I am from crust-less Pb&j (credit to Sebastian)
and daily lunchables.
I'm from cooking on Saturday's and homemade dutch cookies.
from Ani Vero, to aunt Jackie
I am from embracing affection
and loud laughs.

I'm from the be yourself and
the don't care what other people think about you.
I'm from the dutch sweets and the morning un-sugared tea.
From the wall that my mother ran into as a child,
to the coffin that i saw my grandfather in.
I'm that box full of pictures that are
never stored and still keep in there envelopes.
those pictures that never come out for air,
I am that undeveloped film
you'll never know the secrets that have not yet been unleashed.

hmmmm im a tad bit rusty at poetry, but not that bad :]

Kill the lights

2008-09-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm ive got a couple questions on my mind,
Do i freak you out?
Do you think im phsyco?
Would you consider me a happy person?
Would you think of me as a airhead?

yes, i want to know the complete honest truth.
Of what you think about me. :D

anyways yeah just questions roaming my mind.
over and over again.
songs speech is tommorrow.
watch me choke.

xD

hhhhhmmmmnnnnnn i think i want to change my xblock,
my current one doesnt catch my intrest like i thought it would. :O

shake it like an earthquake. ;D

2008-09-03T17:41:00.000-07:00

d00d today was....
ehhhh busymaking.
ALOT happened.

:/
somethings that i wish didnt,
because tommorrow ill make a even bigger fool out of myself.
i know, i know.
yes that is possible.
want a front row seat? you can even video tape my humiliation for free.
:P
anyways yeahhhhhh, i dont know what im going to say.
but hopefully its not something....
me-ish XDDDDDD

anyways still deciding about my favorite song,
it will either be:
1.is it progression if a cannibal uses a fork -chiodos
2.teasing to please (left side, strong side) -cute is what we aim for
3.northern downpour -panic! at the disco
4. wet blanket - metric
5. orrrr a newly favorite! which isss. *drum roll*
boats and birds by gregory and the hawk
(which is what my last post was about)

...sooo yeah i have no idea.
currently im listening to "breathe me" by Sia.

it calms me down. :]

pshhh i gotz a big brother. (for pretend). its andrew.
:] i dont think my parents could have produced a more perfect brother.

hahaha.

i live to let you shine. :]

2008-09-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

"If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night.
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine
but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by."
-Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk

isnt that the cutest?
i mean seriously, that song is keeping me smiling.
<3

maybe ill choose that song for friday?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz5H3iVjAlw
^^click that to listen to the song.

anyways on the phone with sophia..whom i nicknamed pia. :}

it's so hard when your shallow as a shower.

2008-09-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Eh, im chaining myself to the computer. I'd rather not be anywhere else.
Thoughts.Thoughts.Thoughts.
They are simply craming themselves into every inch of my mind.
Im pretty much excited to go back to highschool tommorrow.
Better than being here,...as much as i do somehat dread the school lunches
and i hate to admit it but im excited to see "certain people".
Hopefully in time i wont feel like such a small fish in a big pond.
but hey...maybe ill always feel this way.
i know i know. how pessimistic,
well honestly right now im in no mood to be all sunshiney and happy.
I just want to punch happiness in the face. :x
anyways..hmmm lets talk about highschool.
So far its not as bad as i thought it would be
No evil popular girl that rules the school.
And no jocky boys that are total jerks.
Itzzzz all prett-aaah chill :D

I wish to believe, but belief is a graveyard.

2008-09-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

Okay so currently im reading breaking through for humanities,and eating a brownie while listening to chiodos. Yes i am one of those people that can read and listen to music at the same time. I can multitask my dear :] and to be perfectly honest, this book is in no way whatsoever grasping my attention. Its not because of the genre or anything. I mean ive read books about stuff like this before. But as i have said before it takes ALOT for a book to really grasp my interest entirely. And this book ("Breaking Through") in no way does. But since this is required and i do want to get a good grade in humanites. I guess here my reflection goes?

Okay, so far in what im reading. Roberto got his janitor job back, so they dont have to work in the fields anymore. Which Panchetio is very happy about. And their money got stolen,( The money that they were saving to send to their family).And im just wondering why in the world would he keep the money under a matress? I mean i dont think thats a very good hidding spot at all. Thats where like little kids hide their diary's or whatever. Why doesn't he keep the money in a bank? That way it's safe!

-new song : Hannah Montana, "Nobody's Perfect". :x

okay so still reading...he's saying that everytime he goes home to the empty house he feels lonely.
And i have to admit that even though i can't honestly imagine what he's going to, I would probally be extremely lonely. Even if in this case sceniro and i had a brother or sister. Regaurdless of their pressence i would still be extremly lonely. Because no one can have the same pressence as mom and dad can. And even though a family might not be perfect and even though sometimes you might feel like they dont understand you, and even if sometimes you can't stand them because they are SOOOOOOOO embarresing, and even if you feel like they just want to tourte you all the time. They are still Mom and Dad. The dad that you would call daddy when you were little and you wanted something. And the mom that gave birth to you (and won't ever let you forget that). And they take good care of you, even if they won't buy you everything you want and they make you do ALOT of chores. They do care about you. :] And as much as I hate to admit it, I would be lost without them.

- now some jobro's songs :]

Im glad that hes focusing on school work inplace of his loneliness. Because in the end that will help him. It's like this one time when i was reading seventeen magizine (which im pretty addicted to) and in it, it was talking about breakups. And how with some situations a way that girls handle breakups is to like eat whatever is in their sight or eat tons of ice cream or someother sweet. And they were talking about how thats bad for you, and instead you should do something else. Like excirse instead , so you can do something actually productive that will help you in the long run. So just like that, he will benifit in the end. hahaha oh and it made me laugh when it said that they called him hotshot, because thats actually what me and one of my best friends (sara) call eachother. It's our own inside joke. :]

-now songs from 3OH!3 :]

OH YES!!! ROCK'N ROLL! i actually know the song jailhouse rock...im not sure where i heard it from but i have heard it. Now this book is staring to interest me...which to be honest is quite surprising. Anyways its awesome that he's staring to get into rock'n roll, let alone music.

Music is so powerful and as i once heard someone say it is a universal language. You dont have to know what the words mean to enjoy listening to it. I can't imagine someone who doesnt like music, or someone who has never heard of music. Because afterall, music is everywhere. ANYWAYS im so glad that he decided to like Elvis Presley. Because afterall Evis is BOSS! But i think it was pretty rude for everyone to laugh at him, when he decides to want to do elvis. I mean they could be a bit surportive, and atleast respect him. I mean he was never mean or rude or made fun of any of them. He respected them and yet they laugh in his face when he suggests something. Its just so ...mean.
Okay im not very fond of peggy, or her parents. Why is she avioding him? Because he didnt want to sit with her? And why are her parents so scared and avioding him also? He never did anything. And the way they treat him is like he's unworthy or different or something. It's not right.

Home again right? Now that the family is back with them i wonder what will happen? I mean if this was a happy story than the book would end right when the family come home right? But it doesn't, it just makes me wonder what else could possibly happen? Does someone die? And what will become of the father? What about his bad back? I mean im glad they are home, im sure thats extremly happy news because now they wont be lonely anymore. But i mean seriously theres got to be worser things coming.

Okay so apperently now some of the pages are gone. So i have no idea what im missing. So now it jumps from 43 to 59.

So he's graduating from the 8th grade, and his dad doesn't want him to smell like rotten strawberries.
So i take it that there family is still in California with them.

All the worlds a stage.

2008-08-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

I really like small font... and I'm NOT a interesting person.
Chiodos /nevershoutnever/ 30H!3 /The Beatles/P!ATD/The Aquabats and Hawthorne Heights.Are my music lovesss <333333
I don't watch alot of movies in movie theatres....but it's not like I'm some nerd that doesn't get out much :P
I like art ALOT. As much as I'd like to call myself an artist...I'm really not :]
dood sumtimes i spellz stuff lyke diffurentleeee on aim...letz be frannndzzzz? o_O
I love cupcakes and sugary stuff <3333
SometimeswhenItalkonlineIneverputspaces.
^^^yuuup -_-
I wish i had a pet pig named slushhyyyy :D (seriously)
I can be prettyy childish sometimes >_<
JUNO IS AMAZING.
Sometimes i like to go up to people at school and try to make friends...(They usually end up walking away from me..or i scare them) :O
Ive begged my parents since 5Th grade to let me be a vegetarian.
My spelling is HORRID.
I chew on my pens when I'm frustrated or bored. (i know i know...*girlish shriek* "ewwww grosssss" -_-)
I believe in UNICORNS.
When i was a little kiddie i was OBSESSED with Pokemon, but now its... The Jonas Brothers ;D
Im a very happy person, once you get to know me. :]